By Sensei Serge Sognonvi and Carmen Sognonvi
Originally published at http://www.urbandojo.com/blog

Is your child shy or withdrawn? Does your child lack self-confidence? Do you wish your children would believe in themselves just as much as you believe in them?

Dr. Robyn Silverman is the child development expert who created Powerful Words, our brand-new character development curriculum here at Urban Martial Arts.

In this video, Dr. Robyn gives advice to a parent who wrote in because she’s noticing that her kids are losing confidence as they enter their pre-teen and teen years:

Here are Dr. Robyn’s tips for parents who want to boost their children’s confidence:

1. Highlight your child’s gifts
Every person is good at something. Make sure your children know where their talents lie.

2. Praise effort over results
Encourage your child to set goals and work for them. Failure to achieve a goal doesn’t mean they should quit. Instead, they should use perseverance to try again.

3. Don’t go overboard with praise
Over-praising can be just as damaging as under-praising. If you tell your children “good job” after every little thing they do, they’ll realize you’re being phony and won’t take your opinion seriously.

4. Be a positive role model
If you’re not confident, how can your kids learn to be confident? Make sure you model the kind of behavior you expect to see from them. Don’t engage in negative self-talk in front of your kids.

5. Don’t label your children
Parents have a tendency to introduce their children to others by labeling them, e.g. “this is my shy teen” or “this is my go-getter kid.” Avoid using labels like these, as they can often become self-fulfilling prophecies.

6. Put your children in activities that foster confidence
Activities that are goal-oriented, like sports and martial arts, are excellent ways for your children to improve their physical skills and boost their self-confidence.